PECO came to my rescue yesterday.

Let’s walk through my dilemma: Went to ShopRite right after it opened, around 7:15 in the morning. Notice I said “ShopRite” and not “Giant” because I switched stores last week. Why?

One reason: let’s say I want peanut butter and jelly and bread.

At Giant, I have walk way over to the right to get peanut butter and jelly. And then I have to walk about – pardon my French – 200-fucking- yards to the left to get the bread. Titanium hips. Walking’s no longer fun.

At ShopRite, all three items in the same aisle.

In other words, Giant wants you to walk past aisle after aisle of shit you don’t want – hoping you’ll buy lots of shit you don’t want – before you get to what you do want. On the other hand, ShopRite makes it convenient.

But I’m digressing.

Brought food home. Put some things in the cabinets, others in the refrigerator. Grabbed a cold beer and drank it down – don’t you dare judge me.

Took nap. Woke up at one. Went to grab a beer. Opened the refrig. But no light. Microwave off too. TV working. Ran around the house, flipping light switches off and on, plugging plugs in and out of outlets. Some worked, some didn’t.

Conclusion: blown fuse.

50-Cent Fuse-Tester

Down to basement. Open fuse box. Holding flashlight with one hand, unscrewing fuses with the other, hoping not to get knocked on my ass by a bolt of lightning. Checked every fuse with my 50-cent fuse-tester. Green light came on every time. Checked every fuse again. Once again, my fuse-tester said all working. And once again, thank goodness, no shocks.

Contacted electrician. Told me to check with PECO. How could it be a PECO problem if power working in half the house?

Told me there’s two “legs” coming into the house. One could be out. Check with PECO before he came out and charged me a lot of money.

Hated calling PECO. Figured I’d sit on a hold for a long time before some surly operator came on the line and hinted that I was a moron. You know, like the cable, Internet, and phone company reps.

But no. None of that.

Waited less than a minute. Operator polite and helpful. Scheduled service call. Told me someone would check it out by 7:45 p.m.

Two hours passed. Knock on door. PECO guy, around fifty, polite and friendly. Didn’t get his name. Went outside and explained problem.

Started checking my meter. When I kept telling him what to do next, he kept reminding me “I’m a professional.” Everything checked out at meter. Power going into my house on both legs. Reassembled meter while I was trying to calculate how much electrician was going to cost.

“Let me take a look at your fuse box before I leave.”

Absolutely.

Down to basement. He unscrewed every fuse. Checked them with a professional fuse-tester.  And – sonavabitch – one of the fuses was blown. My fucking 50-cent fuse-tester wasn’t worth 50 cents.

He put in new fuse – which I had on hand, thank goodness – and electricity back on.

Musta said “sonavabitch” ten times. Said “Tested every fucking fuse twice” three or four times, mixed in between sonavabitches.

“I’m a professional” he reminded me again. Yep, a professional who just saved me who-knows-how much.

Pulled money out of my pocket – two ones, five, ten, and Ben Franklin. Tried to pay him. Woulda given him everything. But he refused.

“I get paid to do this.”

Yep – and you’re a professional who just went out of his way to save me a fistful of money.

PECO came to my rescue. Thank you for service above and beyond.

In addition to being the official Eagles Outsider for BlameMyFather.com – Barry Bowe is also the author of:

• Born to Be Wild
• 1964 – The Year the Phillies Blew the Pennant
• 12 Best Eagles QBs
• Birth of the Birds
• Soon-to-be-published sexy, police procedural Caribbean Queen
• Soon-to-be-published novel Stosh Wadzinski
• Soon-to-be-published novel Polish Widow
• Work-in-Progress A Fuckin All-American