Yep – barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen – that’s how I like my women.

Of course I’m kidding.

But I’m telling you true when I say I don’t want women intruding upon my enjoyment of sports. You can call me “sexest” all day long and I won’t care. That’s how I feel.

I don’t like women in the locker rooms or on the sidelines. Come on, when’s the last time a sideline reporter – male or female – added anything pertinent to the game?

I don’t go to strip clubs because I have no desire to ogle naked women unless I’m going to have sex with them. So why would I want to see attractive women holding a microphone on the sidelines asking questions to a coach who doesn’t want to answer in the first place?

I don’t want to see women’s faces on TV or hear their voices on the radio during the games.

I don’t want to see women officiating NBA games.

Violet Parker

But the NBA never asked me for my two cents. Instead, they hired two female referees – Violet Palmer and Dee Kantner – eight years ago during the 1997 season.

However, the NBA fired Kantner after the 2002 season because she wasn’t cutting it.

Dee Kantner

Vi Parker is still working, and she’s been joined on the court this season by rookie NBA ref Lauren Holtkamp.

A little more than two months ago, Lauren Holtkamp got her tits caught in the wringer – pun intended – when she called a technical foul on NBA star Chris Paul for no reason at all – except for the desire to assort her authority.

Lauren Holtkamp

Chris Paul went public in his criticism of Holtkamp’s ability. The ref’s union backed Holtkamp – big surprise there – and the NBA fined Paul for speaking out.

So much for female refs in the NBA.

But now the NFL has decided to get into the P.C. game by hiring a token female to officiate NFL games beginning in the upcoming 2015 season.

Sarah Thomas is the new ref’s name.

To be technically correct, she is not the first female official to work an NFL game. Shannon Eastin worked as a line judge in regular-season NFL games during the 2012 season as a replacement official. Like Eastin, Sarah Thomas will also work as a line judge.

Sarah Thomas played basketball on scholarship at the University of Mobile and she works full-time as a pharmaceutical rep. She’s also a mother of two sons and one daughter.

Sarah Thomas

She’s been working college football games since 2007. She, in fact, was the first female to work a bowl game when she worked the 2009 Little Caesars Pizza Bowl in Detroit. Since then, she worked the Senior Bowl, the Fight Hunger Bowl, the Medal of Honor Bowl, and the Conference USA Championship game in both 2010 and 2014.

Thomas spent two seasons officiating in the now-defunct United Football League.

Between you and me, I wish Sarah Thomas well. To me, she’ll be almost anonymous on the football field. I won’t hear her voice, I probably won’t see her face, and I have a feeling she can get up and down the field a lot faster than some of the male relics still working NFL games.

Barry Bowe is the author of Born to Be Wild, 1964 – The Year the Phillies Blew the Pennant, and 12 Best Eagles QBs.