April Fool’s Day

The date was April the first and I’m going to say the year was 1994.

Curt Schilling was the Phillies ace, having gone 14-11 and 16-7 in 1992 and 1993. The Phillies made it to the World Series in 1993 – but no need reminding Philly fans how that turned out.

So as spring training was winding down, optimism was running high for the new season. Perhaps a repeat trip to the Series.

Mike Missanelli was working at WIP back then. Today, he’s up the dial at The Fanatic. Pretty sure he was teaming with Steve Fredericks back then – but don’t hold me to it. Could’ve been the Cuz, or he might’ve been swimming solo.

Anyway, on that April Fool’s Day, Mike shocked his listeners by announcing that the Phillies just traded Curt Schilling.

The announcement was so shocking that callers couldn’t get on the phone fast enough to vent their disappointment with Phillies management.

In between irate callers, Curt Schilling called Mikey Miss’s show. Schilling then proceeded to have a dialogue with Missanelli – thanking Phillies fans for their support and expressing his own disappointment with being traded.

Which led to more irate callers afterward and Missanelli milked it for all it was worth.

Then, near the end of the show, he finally confessed that he and Curt Schilling conspired to perpetrate an April Fool’s Day joke.

That has to go down as the best April Fool’s Day joke I ever witnessed – and I was taken in along with everyone else. I remember pissing and moaning about it with my neighbor. Kudos to Mike’s ingenuity.

But civility aside, let’s get down to today’s business. Let’s get down to when Mike Missanelli weaseled me.

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Backstory

For the backstory we must go back to 1993. That was when I returned to the Philly area after living on the island of St. Croix in the middle of the Caribbean for six years. In America’s Paradise, I taught algebra, geometry, and trig at a private school, tended bar, and eventually got a job as a sportswriter with the local newspaper. By the way, in that capacity, I was the first sportswriter to put the names of Tim Duncan and Raja Bell on the sports page. But I digress.

I left the islands and returned to the States because I signed a deal with Warner Books for my first book and needed to do research in the Philly area. By then I’d evolved into the genre of true-crime writing by publishing more than 100 articles in the detective magazines.

While I was living in America’s Paradise a new phenomenon popped up on the radio back here – sports talk. WIP was the only sports-talk station in town and I loved it. Mike Missanelli hosted a show and I liked his style.

After Born to Be Wild was published I sent a copy to Mike – along with a letter of introduction, telling him I liked his work and hoped he’d enjoy my book.

The book did well – and still continues to sell all these years later.

After it was published, I did a couple of guest appearances on the old AM Philadelphia TV show with Wally Kennedy. I mention this because I used to spend a lot of Happy Hours at The Lagoon in Essington – a great place to hook up with hot women back then.

One day WIP was doing a remote from The Lagoon and Missanelli was one of the hosts. During a break, I walked up and introduced myself to Mike.

“You look a lot bigger in person,” he said to me, “than you did on TV.”

We chatted for a bit. I asked him if he liked the book. He said he did and thanked me for sending it.

A few days later the O.J. Simpson shit hit the fan.

Soon thereafter my phone rang. It was Mikey Miss calling. I was surprised. By then Mike was the editor of a new publication called The Fan magazine.

“Would you be interested in writing a piece for The Fan?” he asked me.

“Absoutely. About what?”

“O.J. Simpson.”

“Sure. What slant would you like?”

“You name it,” he told me. “You’re the true-crime writer.”

I agreed, and he gave me the word-total and the deadline.

Here I must explain the protocol of the legitimate publishing industry at that time. We didn’t have cell phones, the Internet was just beginning, and there was no social media. Back then – as always – time was of the essence in publishing. Deals were made by handshakes, phone calls, and faxes. A man was only as good as his word.

In this case Mike commissioned me to write a piece for The Fan magazine. When a legitimate publisher commissioned a piece he guaranteed payment on-acceptance. On-acceptance means that the piece was submitted under deadline and met the magazine’s standards of publication.

I went right to work researching the O.J. Simpson murder case. I came up with an idea, wrote the story, and submitted it well ahead of deadline. That way, there was plenty of time to make revisions if Missanelli deemed it unsatisfactory.

A few days later I contacted The Fan. I was told that they were in receipt of my article and they assured me that it met their standards. I asked if the piece needed any revisions and was told it was just fine as it stood. It was acceptable for publication. In fact, it was going to be featured on the Back Page of the magazine.

Ding-ding-ding,

Acceptable-for-publication means a check would be on its way as soon the magazine was published. So I moved on to my next free-lance project.

Publication Date

Come publication date I picked up The Fan at the newsstand and flipped to the back. But – alas and alack – no O.J. Simpson piece written by Barry Bowe. Instead, a piece written by Joe Conklin.

I was disappointed to be sure. I’d already spoken to Phillies PR director Larry Shenk to tell him to be on the lookout for my article in The Fan. I was the new kid in town and trying to establish some local sports writing credentials. I was considering some sort of book about the Phillies and trying to obtain press credentials.

I’d worn a Phillies cap both times on AM Philadelphia. I mentioned that to Larry and he said he saw me on both shows and noticed. AM Philly was a must-watch back in the day.

My disappointment aside, it’s always within the publisher’s discretion to dump a piece if he sees fit, for whatever reason. In this case, Mikey Miss decided to go with Conklin. No problem. I attributed it to their being goombahs. But that had nothing to do with my compensation.

When Mikey Miss commissioned me to write the piece he agreed to pay me for my efforts. When I submitted the article under deadline I fulfilled my end of the bargain. When the magazine accepted my article as worthy of publication, my obligation was satisfied. I was going to be paid for writing the piece. The fact that Mikey Miss would later choose to dump it was on him – not me.

I.O.U.

I hate to say this, Mikey Miss – but you still haven’t paid me.

Perhaps by going public like this – 21 years after the fact – you will be embarrassed into honoring your word and paying me. Please review my updated invoice below.

Mike – this is not an April Fool’s joke and – please, nothing personal – but no checks.

I’ll take the $7,331.24 in the form of cash, money order, or bank draft.

Epilogue

I was shopping at Giant around noon on the day “Mike Missanelli Weaseled Me” was published. I was in the cat food section when my iPhone informed me a Tweet just came in. It was from Mikey Miss indicating he “Liked” my post. But by the time I got home all that changed.

Missanelli blocked me on Twitter.

So here’s how I put two and two together:

1. Mike read the first half of the article, which was flattering and complimentary to him. And that’s when he “Liked” it.
2. A few minutes later, he read the second half, a bug crawled up his ass, and he blocked me.
3. Bottom line: He never understood that the article was written in the spirit of April Fool’s Day, because that’s all it was. However, the joke was on Mike and he didn’t like it.

We haven’t communicated since. His loss.

I’m America’s Best Crime Writer – Barry Bowe – & I approve this message.

My first book – Born to Be Wild – was published in 1992 and is still selling on Amazon & Kindle. it’s a true story about certain members of the Warlocks motorcycle gang.

The story took 21 years to play out with many twists & turns. It’s an amalgam of Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad – but these outlaw bikers make the Sons look like Cub Scouts.