Pieces of Shit Printers

My Maggie – Margaret Thatcher to you – agrees with me. I bought a new printer today because the three I already own are pieces of shit printers.

I don’t need a scanner, fax machine, or color printer. I only print in black or gray-scale.

But every time I print something in black or gray-scale, small portions of the color cartridges are siphoned off. At some point, my printers refuse to print unless I replace those color cartridges. Pardon my French – but I neither want nor need those fucking color cartridges.

Plus, they ain’t cheap.

So I searched Best Buy online and found one printer that costs $29 and another that costs $49. But, of course, you can’t get them in the store. You have to have them shipped.

Unfortunately, I need to print something today. I need two copies of the script for my stand-up-comedy class tomorrow morning. So I can’t wait for shipping.

So I went to Best Buy anyway – hoping to find a cheap printer.

And I did.

This OfficeJet 3830 cost $59.

That $59 is less than I would’ve spent to replace – heads up – those fucking color cartridges that I neither want nor need.

Bottom line – for me, it’s cheaper to buy a new printer than it is to replace the cartridges.

Does that make sense?

To me, it does. And next time, I’m going to be ahead of the game because I’m ordering one of those $29 printers to be shipped right now. So when my OfficeJet 3830 runs out of ink – for 29 bucks – I’ll already have a replacement warming up in the bullpen.

In addition to being the official Eagles Outsider for BlameMyFather.com, Barry Bowe is also the author of: