Lame and Lazy Nicknames

The Galloping Ghost

The Galloping Ghost

J-Roll and A-Rod are lame and lazy nicknames for Jimmy Rollins and Alex Rodriguez. It’s not too difficult to take the first letter of the first name and hyphenate it with the first syllable of the last name.

You can do that with anyone whose last name contains at least two syllables – but that, in my estimation, is not an organic nickname. It’s a way to create lame and lazy nicknames.

Ditto with Richie and Cartsie for former Flyers Mike Richards and Jeff Carter. Hockey players seem to favor the simplicity of taking the first syllable, or the only syllable, of the last name and adding “i-e” – eh, Coatsie? Once again – lame and lazy.

Real nicknames are not contrived – as are the examples above – they flow organically.

Take Mordecai Brown, for instance. Brown played in the big leagues from 1903 to 1916 – ten of those years with the Chicago Cubs. He lost parts of two fingers in a farm accident when he was a youngster – leaving him with three intact digits and “earning” him the nickname “Three Finger.” Can’t get much more organic than that.

three finger brown 2

While the nickname Three Finger was organic, it was more a media nickname than a real-life nickname. His teammates didn’t walk up to him and say “Hey, Three Finger, how’s it goin’ today?”

Quite a few nicknames fall into this Media Nickname Category.

Take Reggie White, who was one of the best defensive ends in the history of the NFL and an ordained minister in private life. His organic nickname was “The Minister of Defense.” It sounded good as a sound byte, but none of his teammates addressed him in that manner.

Many other nicknames fall into the Media Nickname Category.

Broadway Joe was a great nickname for Joe Namath – and right on the money. But people who knew Joe Namath called him Joe or Joe Willie – not Broadway Joe.

Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsh falls into the same category – as does Julius “Dr. J” Erving … Dick “Night Train” Lane … “Clyde the Glide” Drexler … Ty “The Georgia Peach” Cobb … Karl “The Mailman” Malone … Sal “The Barber” Maglie … Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd … “Shoeless” Joe Jackson … Pete “Charlie Hustle” Rose … Lou “The Iron Horse” Gehrig … Ted “The Splendid Splinter” Williams … Jake “The Raging Bull” LaMotta … Wayne “The Great One” Gretzky … Roberto “Manos de Piedra or Hands of Stone” Duran … Tony “The Croatian Sensation” Kukoc … Willie “Say Hey Kid” Mays … Ron “The Penguin” Cey … Fred “Crime Dog” McGriff … Bobby “The Golden Jet” Hull … Charles “The Round Mound of Rebound” Barkley … David “The Admiral” Robinson … Vinnie “Microwave” Johnson … Jack “The Golden Bear” Nicklaus … George “Papa Bear” Halas … Joe “The Brown Bomber” Louis … Walter “Sweetness” Payton … George “The Ice Man” Gervin … Reggie “Mr. October” Jackson … Stan “The Man” Musial … Ernie “Mr. Cub” Banks … “Pistol Pete” Maravich … and John “The Wizard of Westwood” Wooden.

And I’m sure some good ones are missing.

And then come my favorites – organic nicknames that became the players’ names. For my first example take James Hunter, who pitched a perfect game, won a Cy Young, was an eight-time All-Star, and played on five World Series champs. As it works out, Bob Dylan so liked the pitcher James Hunter that he penned a song in his honor. The song’s title was “Catfish” and James Hunter became known forever after as Catfish Hunter.

There’s the brothers Jay Dean and Paul Dean who played for the St. Louis Cardinals in the 1930s. Due to their zaniness, they became known as Dizzy Dean and Daffy Dean. In fact, their 1934 Cardinals team was given its own nickname – “The Gas House Gang.”

There’s also Yogi Berra … Duke Snider … Magic Johnson … Tiger Woods … Pee Wee Reese … Clyde Frazier … Chief Parrish … Frig Perry … Chi Chi Rodriguez … Nails Dykstra … Juice Simpson … Satchel Paige … Bear Bryant … Pops Stargell … El Duque Hernandez … Bus Bettis … Big Papi Ortiz … Sleepy Floyd … Rocket Richard … Pearl Monroe … and White Shoes Johnson.

Last but not least come two men whose nicknames fall into both categories.

First is Harold Grange, who was an All-American running back at Illinois, an All-Pro on two NFL championship Bears teams, and a member of the Hall of Fame. Not many people knew him as Harold. They knew him by his organic nickname “Red” – and the newspapers referred to him by his media nickname as “The Galloping Ghost.”

George Herman Ruth needs no introduction. Better known by his nickname, he’s been Babe Ruth to generations of sports fans. He was also called “Bambino” by his teammates – which was short for “The Great Bambino.” In the press, he was also called “The Sultan of Swat” and the “King of Swing.” When the Yankees built a new stadium in 1923, it was named Yankee Stadium – but it was nicknamed “The House that Ruth Built.”

So there’s nearly 100 nicknames that aren’t the least bit lame or lazy. If you think of any that were omitted, please pass them along.

P.S. – Hate to call myself a dope – but what a dope I just was. Thanks to Rob @RobW521 for bringing “The Broad Street Bullies” to my attention. How could I forget them or Dave “The Hammer” Schultz? Thanks, Rob.

Barry Bowe is the author of Born to Be Wild and 1964 – The Year the Phillies Blew the Pennant.

Written by Barry Bowe
Former sportswriter - first to put Timmy Duncan's name on the sports page.